dansdansdans | (no subject)

Somewhat panicy feeling here. I realized that my school application needs to be done soon. Last day to apply is the 1st of May and I haven't done anything yet. I still need to get a hold of the people I want as references who are being great at hiding their mail addresses, I need to write a personal letter and get all old school papers in order and copied to send. Why haven't I started yet.

I'm also worrying about me staking it all on this one school. If I don't get in, I'll be without anything to do for a loooong time and I don't want that. I need to move, I can't stay here living of my parents and just, living here is not for me anymore. But if I don't get in, how the hell will I be able to move, if I don't have any money I can't move, and I can't get work anywhere else if I don't have the money to move. And I hate the stupid financial crisis that is making it even harder to get any jobs.

Aaah~ I should not think so much about it. It will just make me worried and unable to do anything at all.

I'm dreaming about getting away to somewhere where I can live day by day without having to think longer than that. Just go wherever my impulses is taking me. That craves money. Something I don't have.
And I was so sure that I'd get to work at least a little when I got back, but there has been no work. >___<

I'm going out to work in the garden now, because my dad won't stop nagging, and when I get back inside I'm gonna sit down and write that stupid letter.