(no subject)

[dansdansdans]

I printed out my application paper for the school I want to go to. I need to copy some papers, mail people I'd like to write down as references and write a personal letter. Those letters. I always angst so much about them. Last time I think I rewrote it like 8 times. I did get called to a lot of interviews and auditions thanks to it though.

And now I'm filled with fear again.
If i do this, if I apply and get in to this school I can't back out. If I get in I have to really commit myself and above all, I need to believe in myself and in my ability. That's really were the problem lies. I have such problems believing in myself, believing that I'm good enough. I hate this feeling. I'm not an insecure person per say, I'm confident in myself, who I am as a person. But this damn fear of failing the only thing I really really want is making me doubt myself so much. It's just, if I wont be able to pull this off, if I won't be able to become an actress, how will I pick myself up afterwards? What will I do? What else can I see myself doing? The sad thing is, there's nothing else. Nothing. It's dangerous to think this was, this or nothing. But I honestly can't see myself doing anything else.

Can someone just make all these thoughts disappear? X___X

Comments

[saru-desu.livejournal.com]

If it's what you really want, just try your best doing it. It's great how you you're confident in yourself and what you're doing, and I think it adds more to your success's percentage. And when you're going to do something such important to you, it's natural to have fear of failing. So don't be worried much about it. I think you should concentrate on your strong point, it'd help both your feeling to be better and your application or interview too.
Good luck! I'll cross my fingers for you get into that school ^^

[therese-chan.livejournal.com]

Thank you~ All this encouraging has really made me feel better! I will try my best to get in to this school and if I do, I'll see that as a sign to move on to the heavier schools afterwards. ^^